for my siblings

Today my 4 and 5 year old foster kids inspired me to tell my siblings what I always think about them and never say.

Just wanted to say I love you.

Luke, I love the way that you listen properly, that you have an enthusiastic positive response for whatever dribble I am talking. I love the way you are raising your kids, that you care about their character and you want to be a present father. I love the way that you are always purposeful, that you always have a plan. That your actions are intentional. I admire that so much. I love the way that you love music, and that you are pursuing it for no other reason than that it is part of you and it makes you happy. I love the way your voice resounds(hehehe) and I love how very domesticated you are (especially seeing as I used to have to iron your shirts for school) I am so thankful that I got to live with you as an adult. It is a rare thing for siblings to get to do. I am so proud of the man that you are.

James, I love your charisma. I love that you are so interesting and that you can lead a conversation, and a room. I love it that you are geniune in your responses to people. You are so infectious. I love your sincerity and your tender heart. I am so proud of your acheivements. I feel so honoured that we have shared this quirky cultural experience, so many of my identity forming memories have you in them. I will always be so thankful that you were the one person that said 'Congratulations' to me when we spoke about Blayke! I love your thought processes. I am so proud to have you as a brother, and thankful that I have you as a role model for my sons.

Emma, I love the loyalty of your friendship. I love that you are my biggest cheerleader and my solidest friend. I love that you are fierce and passionate about our family. I love watching you parent your amazing children, that we share a similar value base. I am so thankful that we have been able to share getting married,and babies, and theories and church and everything. I love it that youre a kicking singer, and that no one can do alto like you from up the front. I love the way that when faced with trauma you become the anchor for everyone and anyone around you. I love it that I know that I can come to you. I love the way that you get me and my motivations. I am so proud to call you a friend. I am so previlidged to have you in my life.

We came back from Toowoomba yesterday. What a great couple of days. I sat and sipped a tonne of milo in the freezing cold. It was that kind of bone cold that screams right through your body. Makes you realise that youre alive.

We took Noah, Jez, B*e, K*n and J*n. Blayke is away on the Carnarvon Gorge Hike through Pathfinders, and the 3 other foster kids were with their Mum. J*n is the cutest baby! He was so funny, he only wanted Lee. Lee is tickled pink as most babies are scared of his burly beard and large frame.

But here we are, back in Brisbane. Today has been a management and maintenance day, we have caught up with washing, done groceries and changed sheets. D*n also arrived today, and this is what I wanted to share.

D*n is the older brother of B*e K*n and J*n. B*e has been asking for him everyday since he came to stay here, and finally the powers that be have allowed them to be all placed here with me. From the minute he walked through the door they have wandered through the house together hand in hand. B*e even stroked D*n's cheek, saying "I just love you my brother". So so Cute!!

But doesnt it make you envious? That as children we can love without inhabition. That we can be openly affectionate without being self conscious? That it doesnt sound weird to tell your sibling just how ridiculously awesome they are? I dont think it ever goes away.. I am still in awe and admiration of my siblings, but do I tell them?

Dont let a day go by that you dont let those you love know their value. Love like a child.

I am not overwhelmed until I say it out loud to someone else. I have ten boys in my care. Three of them part time, seven of them full time. Seven boys in my care full time. (I just need to find seven brides for them ahahahahahha)
It isnt as bad as it sounds outloud. Ten boys in a house is loud, and messy, and smelly... but it requires the same organisation as having seven, or five boys.
I am forever telling people that chaos is my friend.
Have you ever had that experience where if you arent under pressure you dont succeed? Thats me all over. I am so thankful for these little extras. They make me a more on the ball parent for my own children.

You are the man of my dreams
You are the one that seems
to take all my wrongs and make them feel right
to gather me up, make me warm, hold me tight.

My promise to you is to love you forever,
my promise to you is to stay true and never
forget about the little things, that make our love a bigger thing
than anything else in this world.

I love you.

I have so much going for me right now,

I just cant beleive how lucky I am.

All this happiness kind of sneaked up on me.

I have become a vegan and feel better than I ever have. I am losing weight. I have finished the first semester of Uni. I am super excited that I am about to start homeschooling two of my sons. I have a great foster care placement that is really fitting with our family.

I am so blessed.

Ohhhh... I have been wanting to blog for so long and here I am. An imaginery audience that cant so no to listening to me. I love love love it